Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Doing Great!
I'll see her tomorrow evening! This evening I had yoga class and she cut her lawn. I'm tired now it's late but I'm tired and awake. I have so much to do. My mind races. Guess I could sleep for a bit then get up and do more.
I've become a political news junkie listening to NPR all day long. Well, they have had such great guests on the show like Bob Woodward suggesting his new book "The World Inside" This is his fifth book I believe about what goes on in the White House between 2006 - 2008. Thomas L. Friedman speaking about his book "Flat, Warm and Crowded" which I'm reading now. And for some light satire I'm reading Christopher Buckley's of "Thank You for Smoking" fame "Boomsday". It's great!
I spoke with my love for an hour this evening. We usually talk that long every evening. I was telling her about UFO on Primetime ABC that I reported. It was mainly old stuff. Hell, I thought by now they might have interviewed a real live extraterestrial being! Cool! I wouldn't mind seeing a UFO..you know at a safe distance. The show spoke of five police officers who witnessed and taped a UFO neary where I lived at the time I lived there. Cool!
Now, I'm watching recorded DVR Project Earth and these scientist are trying to capture wind from the atmosphere about a mile up where all the weather and wind resides. They were successful on creating a workable turbine to generate wind power.
It's late... need to go! Must run in the mornning before art class. I ate too much today.. so must redeem myself.
I've become a political news junkie listening to NPR all day long. Well, they have had such great guests on the show like Bob Woodward suggesting his new book "The World Inside" This is his fifth book I believe about what goes on in the White House between 2006 - 2008. Thomas L. Friedman speaking about his book "Flat, Warm and Crowded" which I'm reading now. And for some light satire I'm reading Christopher Buckley's of "Thank You for Smoking" fame "Boomsday". It's great!
I spoke with my love for an hour this evening. We usually talk that long every evening. I was telling her about UFO on Primetime ABC that I reported. It was mainly old stuff. Hell, I thought by now they might have interviewed a real live extraterestrial being! Cool! I wouldn't mind seeing a UFO..you know at a safe distance. The show spoke of five police officers who witnessed and taped a UFO neary where I lived at the time I lived there. Cool!
Now, I'm watching recorded DVR Project Earth and these scientist are trying to capture wind from the atmosphere about a mile up where all the weather and wind resides. They were successful on creating a workable turbine to generate wind power.
It's late... need to go! Must run in the mornning before art class. I ate too much today.. so must redeem myself.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sent her email
describing how my big mouth ends up making me feel worried that she would tell me good bye. She is very sweet and deserves so much more. I will watch my thoughts and words from now on. And really it probably had nothing to do with her. I was probably just wired and grabby.
I'm tired but too excited about the wonderful events of the day I recently posted in the previous entry.
I thank the universe for my many gifts and blessings of love, safety, good health, flexibility, strong body and healthy body and mind. I love to learn. For now it's the sax. Through the winter I may learn Spanish. I plan on reading more. I just need more hours in the day. I'm trying to find time to read Thomas L. Friedman's "Hot, Flat and Crowded". A great read!
Please consider what is happening economically and monetarily to Americans and please vote Democratic in November! Stock market trading was as low today as in 2006. We are at an all time low.. hopefully Obama will get us out of this Bush mess and over see and place regulations on these "let's see how we can rip them off today" corporations. Yes, I believe that they need to be reined in a bit; regulated
I'm tired but too excited about the wonderful events of the day I recently posted in the previous entry.
I thank the universe for my many gifts and blessings of love, safety, good health, flexibility, strong body and healthy body and mind. I love to learn. For now it's the sax. Through the winter I may learn Spanish. I plan on reading more. I just need more hours in the day. I'm trying to find time to read Thomas L. Friedman's "Hot, Flat and Crowded". A great read!
Please consider what is happening economically and monetarily to Americans and please vote Democratic in November! Stock market trading was as low today as in 2006. We are at an all time low.. hopefully Obama will get us out of this Bush mess and over see and place regulations on these "let's see how we can rip them off today" corporations. Yes, I believe that they need to be reined in a bit; regulated
We are okay again..
Whew, that was close. I was very worried! But SHE called me this afternoon wanting to come over. I was excited. We had wonderful intimacy. Then decided to go to a movie and saw "Burn after reading" with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, McDermand (when I think of her first name, I'll fill it in).
The movie was entertaining and without a clue as to what would happen next - until all the parties began merging. Snacks were great! My companion, wonderful! Priceless.
I'm so glad we are back in sync. I'll think twice for sure next time before I open my ignorant mouth.
She loves me and I love her.
After the movie went strolled into Macey's so she could check out the Dockers. She picked two pair and we wandered over to the fitting room. There was a blue strapped, empire waist cute till number in the stall when we got in there. She tried on her pants and selected one pair that she wanted to buy. She checked and the dress was a medium. She thought it would be fun to try it on. I certainly encouraged her as I pulled out my iphone ready to click pictures. We laughed and laughed. First she then me. We had a blast and we each struggled to get out of the dress. I told her that I used to get all dressed up in my young days. I commented that dresses are so much easier now that they have built in bras and slips. NO more struggles. Made me want to dress up and go somewhere fanciful. She looked good with her cleveage. I had fun trying to show my off too while acting girlist and silly as she snapped photos.
We came home then still laughing about the evening and the fun, wonderful day, we had. We caught up on SNL with Michael Philips.
What a wonderful senuous afternoon and fun evening..
The movie was entertaining and without a clue as to what would happen next - until all the parties began merging. Snacks were great! My companion, wonderful! Priceless.
I'm so glad we are back in sync. I'll think twice for sure next time before I open my ignorant mouth.
She loves me and I love her.
After the movie went strolled into Macey's so she could check out the Dockers. She picked two pair and we wandered over to the fitting room. There was a blue strapped, empire waist cute till number in the stall when we got in there. She tried on her pants and selected one pair that she wanted to buy. She checked and the dress was a medium. She thought it would be fun to try it on. I certainly encouraged her as I pulled out my iphone ready to click pictures. We laughed and laughed. First she then me. We had a blast and we each struggled to get out of the dress. I told her that I used to get all dressed up in my young days. I commented that dresses are so much easier now that they have built in bras and slips. NO more struggles. Made me want to dress up and go somewhere fanciful. She looked good with her cleveage. I had fun trying to show my off too while acting girlist and silly as she snapped photos.
We came home then still laughing about the evening and the fun, wonderful day, we had. We caught up on SNL with Michael Philips.
What a wonderful senuous afternoon and fun evening..
our relationship
of a couple of months has now elevated to nip picking. So who started first? I have no dish drain in my sink and I don't use a sponge. That was early on..
I now have reciprocated by suggesting she at least drive 70 instead of 60 in a 70 MPH speed zone when all others are driving 75 MPH. Too slow is a hindrance. And how was MLP only shortly ahead of us near home when she zoomed by at a least 75? They must have stopped.
Anyway, my words went unnoticed..she drove 60 on the dot...well at times near 65 I only peeped over at the dial twice - really! I say nothing. I listened to NPR.
So, I only know when I am nip picked I may lose sexual interest and I feel boxed in. I feel I can't be myself! I snipped back when in the dark of early morning she as I rooted through my luggage that I was looking for this or looking for that. Why does everyone watch and comment on my every move? I can't stand that!
Is that what a relationship consists of - monitoring and commenting on my every single simple action? What are you doing now! Where are you? It's like damn!
I get so tired of over looking every one's little nagging faults. For example I have this one "friend" that every time she sees me she has a comment about my appearance and it's usually negative. "You look tired" or "Your face is puffy". I know her mother is the same way - must be. She is her mother. And she is the same one who declares "It's hot in here" and swings the door wide open. The hell with everyone else - I'm hot! Talk about inconsiderate! I'd rather be a damn hermit then to have to take this stuff on an on going bases. As it is, I see her rarely and invite her less! Me! Me! Me1
At least I do Me! Me! Me! alone! - most of the time. I'm beginning to love my company more and more. So, what!
I've never met her but I see my girl friend's mother in her! I said I would make chili if you swing by the store and I'll get ground beef. "You have chicken breast left over to eat". (and little did I know she wasn't even going to hang around to eat) Oh yeah! Guess I'll get chili fixings tomorrow (yeah, when you're not around!} Like what's the big deal. She was on a tight budget when she was a kid I guess?
Frankly I think I should push her buttons every now and then to really see just what lies under that girlish appearance.
She can be very loving. I might have ruined that. At this very moment she may be withdrawing - or am I? I started the process I believe when I snapped at her.. and of course she reciprocated. She was pushing me and I pushed back.. so now the pushy and retaliating begins. I have never seen one yet that doesn't strike right back - it's like it's just waiting there. Like they want it to happen.. so they needle you till you explode.
It's all a test you know. She is really suspecting the negative and pushes to get it. Yet she defended her ex in a heartbeat.
I just can't take people directing me every moment. Do it this way! Why not do it this way! Hey, I made it to this age just fine. I can't stand it! It that what relationships are all about. Ridicule and suggestions? They know better than me? They do everything better than me? Or they are always needing something. This one isn't needing something all the time..but. Growing up I learned to do everything myself. I learned that I couldn't really depend on anyone. I learned that I had to fend for myself.
I guess I am not relationship material. Oh I like sex and affection and loving. Why can't they just mind their own business when it comes to the petty crap. Maybe I don't want you constant opinion.
I finally fired back with the speed limit thing because she had the audacity to make fun of me not ever taking the highway..like she's some professional driver. Then to my amazement she diligently persistently only drives ten MPH under the speed limit on a wide open, no traffic, highway. What is with that?
My ex of course was the same way. But immediately I found her "things" charming. I still care about her very much and can't imagine my life without her. I might have made a very huge mistake.
Oh well, I'm not complaining. Maybe I just don't get people! I was raised by assholes and was alone most of the time. So there you are not that I'm making legitimate excuses.
And people are so consistent year after year - the same thing. I wished I lived in a cocoon, my own little world, where I had observation blinders on and didn't "see" any of their idiosyncrasies.
All this being said I'm punishing myself today and worried about my mouth. I'm worried about my heart too and hoping that I am not losing interest or jepordizing my relationship. I fear that I am. She has lost that loving edge. It sure doesn't take much. They can dish it out but can't take it and that is all that it boils down too. Right away I was labeled a whiner. Oh, I guess she calls it teasing. It would be said that I was too sensitive. Well, I take it for a couple of months and then I strike back and their loving feeling is gone.
"I'm not used to be talked to like that!" Well, I'm not used to having my every move scrutinized and commented upon. I know I should say something right away..but I know. And if you say it kidding they don't hear it. There are so things I ask her not to talk about yet she continues to bring them up time and time again. These are my personal things. She should learn to bug off when it comes to them.
So, that is what I get for being tolerant of other's feelings. I hold off and then it builds up and I explode. I'm hoping it wasn't so extreme. It's nice to have a relationship with some one. Someone you can do things with. But, why must they right-away attempt (although maybe subconsciously) into someone more like they are? Why does it have to be so hard? Can't they (we) continue to act towards each other like we act toward our friends? No, because we think we have invested more. Sex, separates us from our friends. Oh, intimacy!
I now have reciprocated by suggesting she at least drive 70 instead of 60 in a 70 MPH speed zone when all others are driving 75 MPH. Too slow is a hindrance. And how was MLP only shortly ahead of us near home when she zoomed by at a least 75? They must have stopped.
Anyway, my words went unnoticed..she drove 60 on the dot...well at times near 65 I only peeped over at the dial twice - really! I say nothing. I listened to NPR.
So, I only know when I am nip picked I may lose sexual interest and I feel boxed in. I feel I can't be myself! I snipped back when in the dark of early morning she as I rooted through my luggage that I was looking for this or looking for that. Why does everyone watch and comment on my every move? I can't stand that!
Is that what a relationship consists of - monitoring and commenting on my every single simple action? What are you doing now! Where are you? It's like damn!
I get so tired of over looking every one's little nagging faults. For example I have this one "friend" that every time she sees me she has a comment about my appearance and it's usually negative. "You look tired" or "Your face is puffy". I know her mother is the same way - must be. She is her mother. And she is the same one who declares "It's hot in here" and swings the door wide open. The hell with everyone else - I'm hot! Talk about inconsiderate! I'd rather be a damn hermit then to have to take this stuff on an on going bases. As it is, I see her rarely and invite her less! Me! Me! Me1
At least I do Me! Me! Me! alone! - most of the time. I'm beginning to love my company more and more. So, what!
I've never met her but I see my girl friend's mother in her! I said I would make chili if you swing by the store and I'll get ground beef. "You have chicken breast left over to eat". (and little did I know she wasn't even going to hang around to eat) Oh yeah! Guess I'll get chili fixings tomorrow (yeah, when you're not around!} Like what's the big deal. She was on a tight budget when she was a kid I guess?
Frankly I think I should push her buttons every now and then to really see just what lies under that girlish appearance.
She can be very loving. I might have ruined that. At this very moment she may be withdrawing - or am I? I started the process I believe when I snapped at her.. and of course she reciprocated. She was pushing me and I pushed back.. so now the pushy and retaliating begins. I have never seen one yet that doesn't strike right back - it's like it's just waiting there. Like they want it to happen.. so they needle you till you explode.
It's all a test you know. She is really suspecting the negative and pushes to get it. Yet she defended her ex in a heartbeat.
I just can't take people directing me every moment. Do it this way! Why not do it this way! Hey, I made it to this age just fine. I can't stand it! It that what relationships are all about. Ridicule and suggestions? They know better than me? They do everything better than me? Or they are always needing something. This one isn't needing something all the time..but. Growing up I learned to do everything myself. I learned that I couldn't really depend on anyone. I learned that I had to fend for myself.
I guess I am not relationship material. Oh I like sex and affection and loving. Why can't they just mind their own business when it comes to the petty crap. Maybe I don't want you constant opinion.
I finally fired back with the speed limit thing because she had the audacity to make fun of me not ever taking the highway..like she's some professional driver. Then to my amazement she diligently persistently only drives ten MPH under the speed limit on a wide open, no traffic, highway. What is with that?
My ex of course was the same way. But immediately I found her "things" charming. I still care about her very much and can't imagine my life without her. I might have made a very huge mistake.
Oh well, I'm not complaining. Maybe I just don't get people! I was raised by assholes and was alone most of the time. So there you are not that I'm making legitimate excuses.
And people are so consistent year after year - the same thing. I wished I lived in a cocoon, my own little world, where I had observation blinders on and didn't "see" any of their idiosyncrasies.
All this being said I'm punishing myself today and worried about my mouth. I'm worried about my heart too and hoping that I am not losing interest or jepordizing my relationship. I fear that I am. She has lost that loving edge. It sure doesn't take much. They can dish it out but can't take it and that is all that it boils down too. Right away I was labeled a whiner. Oh, I guess she calls it teasing. It would be said that I was too sensitive. Well, I take it for a couple of months and then I strike back and their loving feeling is gone.
"I'm not used to be talked to like that!" Well, I'm not used to having my every move scrutinized and commented upon. I know I should say something right away..but I know. And if you say it kidding they don't hear it. There are so things I ask her not to talk about yet she continues to bring them up time and time again. These are my personal things. She should learn to bug off when it comes to them.
So, that is what I get for being tolerant of other's feelings. I hold off and then it builds up and I explode. I'm hoping it wasn't so extreme. It's nice to have a relationship with some one. Someone you can do things with. But, why must they right-away attempt (although maybe subconsciously) into someone more like they are? Why does it have to be so hard? Can't they (we) continue to act towards each other like we act toward our friends? No, because we think we have invested more. Sex, separates us from our friends. Oh, intimacy!
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